Something that a friend posted on Facebook a few days ago reached out and captured my heart! It was a very astute observation written by George Carlin. For anybody who is reading this, it is well worth your time to go to this link and read George's words:
The last sentence of his observation is very pertinent to what is going on in my life right now:
"Always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away."
Most of us live our lives plodding through our day to day routines, checking off the boxes as we go, never taking the time to follow our dreams. Where is the passion in that? Yes, daily routines are safe, predictable and comfortable and we need them to take care of business. But they do not take our breath away! Sometimes we just have to jump off of the proverbial cliff and fly. Taking the plunge is scary, but it's necessary for personal growth and happiness.
So just now I saw another post that has spoken to me so strongly that I see it as a sign:
"Life is too short to . . . wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it'd be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."
I learned at a very young age that rainbows signify that whenever there are storms in life (or bad stuff), God is present and
that after the storm passes there will be something beautiful to come. So it is fitting that a very close friend just gave me this beautiful rainbow necklace and matching earrings:
Me in Rainbow Necklace and Matching Earrings
Here is a picture that I love and find to have great significance:
I'm focusing on my rainbow and it's leading me closer and closer to the cliff's edge. I know that one day in the not too distant future that I'm going to jump off and fly.
I grew up in a household that was plagued with marital strife. My father was a dictator . . . a veritable modern day Napoleon. My mother did what most women did back then, she gave up her job at the Bell Telephone Company as soon as she married dad and started having kids. It was so sad to see a beautiful and intelligent woman have to beg for money for groceries and clothes for us kids. She used to wear the same house dress day in and out because the old man was such a tightwad. She deserved so much better than the life that she lived! Dad was classically passive aggressive and mom was always so depressed and lonely.
Watching the way that my mother was treated made me into what I am today. I was determined to get a good education so that I could stand on my own two feet and not have to take any shit from a husband or anybody else. As a matter of fact, I swore up and down that I'd never get married, but somehow, here I am now in my second marriage.
My spouse is very reliable and dependable and has many admirable qualities. However, this is his third marriage and bad experiences have caused him to have a hard time with trust. He doesn't trust me to have any friends or talk much to anybody at all. I have made some really nice friends through Facebook, and one of them is very special and close. As a result, accusations have been flying frequently, which is unfair as I've not done anything wrong.
So now I'm at a point where I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I stand accused of doing things that I haven't done. This isn't fair and it just can't go on!
One of my favorite songs by Elvis Presley describes the situation that I find myself in now:
We can't go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds
Yes, Elvis you were right! I've always bent over backwards to keep peace and harmony at home, often at my own expense. I'm tired of sacrificing my needs for others, especially when I stand accused of doing things that I haven't done!
A very close friend recently sent me this beautiful picture:
She's right, I really do need to follow my heart. And rest assured, I will.
About two weeks ago, which was 3 weeks after my Hysterectomy, I started having icy hot flashes. When I have these flashes, my whole body feels like I've rubbed Icy Hot Sports Cream all over it, especially in the upper half! Then about a week ago I started waking up in the middle of the night bathed with sweat. I've been sweating so much that the sheets underneath me have been wet! Since I no longer have ovaries, my body isn't producing estrogen. This is causing the hot flashes and night sweats. I'm happy to say that I've not been suffering from any kind of depression or hormonal lunacy though.
My concerns about feeling like a lunatic are due to what I witnessed my mother go through after going through a surgical menopause. She had to have an emergency hysterectomy after giving birth to my sister back in 1966. The after effects were not pretty! I remember one particular episode where she was on her hands and knees on the carpet just screaming uncontrollably! Of course my mother didn't drive and was stuck in the house with 3 kids and an infant at the time, but this is certainly not a good memory or example of post hysterectomy effects!!! God bless my poor mother!
Most women can start Hormonal Replacement Therapy (HRT) right away after a Hysterectomy. However, since I had severe Endometriosis, I cannot do this until six months after my surgery. I'm concerned about this due to the risk of bone loss and heart attacks that can occur when there is no more estrogen in a woman's body. The most that I can do right now is take Black Cohosh to help reduce the hot flashes. I am also resuming my normal exercise routine at the Gym this week, which should definitely help as well.
I'm happy to say that I got through surgery, the holidays and being on a cruise and I didn't gain any weight! It's good to enter into the 2013 in decent shape and I intend on improving my fitness level even more!
Here is a photo of me in my orange dress two weeks ago:
Me on the Last Night of the Cruise on December 29, 2012
Last night I was looking on You Tube for some new songs to put onto my IPOD to listen to while I do my cardio workouts at the Gym and I came across this:
It's Madonna's "Justify My Love" music video. The song's haunting melody, tribal beat and visceral lyrics jumped out and just grabbed me! The video is incredibly sexy as well! The people in it are so beautifully non-binary!
I love all of the lyrics, but the sections that I love the best are in the beginning and then at the end of the song:
So romantic in the beginning with . . .
I wanna kiss you in Paris
I wanna hold your hand in Rome
I wanna run naked in a rainstorm
Make love in a train cross-country
You put this in me
So now what, so now what?
. . . and then so compelling in the end:
Poor is the man Whose pleasures depend On the permission of another Love me, that's right, love me I wanna be your baby
Yes, poor is anyone whose pleasures depend on the permission of another!!!!! This makes me think about all of the times that I've held back during my life from getting what I really needed because somebody else didn't want me to have it and/or society didn't approve. Why do we have to limit ourselves so much to societal norms and pressures? Do we really care that much about what people think of us? The older I get, the more I want to break out of this mold that I've been trapped in all of my life. It just doesn't fit me . . . it never has and it never will!!!
Life's responsibilities tend to keep us trapped in our molds and breaking free is very hard to do! It makes us go through life like zombies, moving automatically about our daily routines without feeling. But just like a caterpillar in a cocoon, I know that one day soon that I'll be ready to go from sitting in the dark and waiting into bursting into the light as a butterfly! And there's another butterfly out there waiting for me to join them!
I returned to work today after being on Short Term Disability since December 3rd. It was cold and wet outside, but when I walked into work I got a very warm welcome from many people, including some hugs! It was very nice to know that people missed me while I was gone! My desk looked exactly the way it did when I left, which was good to see. I've had the misfortune in the past of having people rearrange my desk and things while I was out on maternity leave with my son, which was incredibly ignorant and rude! This happened when I worked at my ex father-in-law's company and my ex husband is the one that did the rearranging! Boy, I could really pick them back then . . .
Anyway, I wore a new outfit today that I ordered early in November and had never tried out before. I put on my black suede boots and silver earrings with it. Here is how it looked:
Mae in Black Cowl Neck Dress and Suede Boots
It was very comfy and warm and I got compliments on both the dress and boots, which was nice!
Of course there were a couple of annoying emails waiting for me, but that's to be expected when one is out of the office for 5 weeks! I'll clean that up sometime later this week.
I found out that they moved my phone and are in the process of moving my desk upstairs since I'm moving to another project. This is good news. I also found out that the SE Manager is a lady that I had a run-in with back in 2007 on a proposal effort. However, her and I have had no problems since I've returned to Texas in 2009 and she was very nice to me today when we talked. I'm looking forward to moving to this project! I need something new and challenging!
I also got the chance to have a nice long chat on the phone with my dear friend Tegs today, which is something I haven't been able to do for a while now. I really enjoyed that and want to do it more often!
I ended the day with a very nice Shrimp Salad for dinner. Here is what it looked like:
My time off is winding down quickly as I have to go back to work on Tuesday. I've been off of work for 5 weeks now due to surgery. This is the longest that I've been off of work since I was a teenager!
Going back to work after a Medical Leave of Absence, plus starting into a new year means that there is much work to be done to be prepared. I'm doing the laundry today, including all of the clothes from the cruise. I also just finished creating all of my files for 2013.
My 2013 Files, Ready to Go!
Now I have to finish all of the filing for 2012, which sucks! I'm going to try to be better about getting everything filed weekly this year. We just get so much garbage in the mail and I shred anything that has any personal information on it, so that's a lot of work! Fortunately I have a better shredder now and that should help a lot!
Earlier this week the lady that I have had cleaning my house on a monthly basis came to do the January cleaning. She does a really good job and I asked her how much she'd charge me if I got her to come in twice a month. She said that she'd do it for $75.00 a cleaning, which is so great! So I asked her to come twice a month now. That will be so helpful to me! I work full time and don't have the time to keep the house up to my extremely picky standards of cleanliness and neatness. This will make me feel much better!
I went back to the Gym today and did 30 minutes on the Elliptical. It felt so wonderful! The endorphins started kicking in about 5 minutes into the workout and stayed with me the whole time! The doctor who did my surgery wants me to wait 8 weeks to start back with lifting weights, but I'm going to ask one of the personal trainers at the Gym if there is a way around this by working with bands. He has a Masters Degree in Exercise Science, so I know that he'll be able to come up with something! I haven't put any weight on at all, either from the cruise or the holidays, so I'm going into 2013 feeling alright! I want to be as tight and toned as possible for a very special event coming up in March!
Adeline had her My Little Pony 5th Birthday Party today with the family at our house. Here is a picture of Adeline in her birthday dress and party hat:
Adeline in her party dress and hat
Here is a picture of her birthday banner:
Adeline's Birthday Banner
There's a story behind the birthday banner. Apparently while we were away on a cruise, some kids silly stringed our truck and dumped over the trash cans on the side of the house. I was very upset because I had special ordered the banner and knew that it had been delivered, but it wasn't at the house when we returned. I thought that the kids had taken it. When the held mail arrived on January 2nd, there was the banner in the mailbox! I was very happy that it had not been taken by the little hooligans that visited our house!
Here is Adeline posing with Pinky Pie, her Pinata:
Adeline and Pinky Pie the Pinata in the Garage
Here are some of her balloons:
Adeline's Balloons
There's also a story behind her balloons. I ordered them about a month ago from Party City with explicit instructions to have them inflated and ready at 11:00 AM today. I even called them this morning to request that they put each balloon bouquet into a large bag so that I didn't end up turning into Mary Poppins when I exited the store and they said they would take care of it. When I got to the store today, I asked the woman behind the counter where they were and she looked around and then told me that she saw somebody purchase the balloons earlier and leave the store with them. I have to admit that I lost my temper for a minute or two, but thankfully I didn't curse! Long story short, they ended up finding the balloon order and the woman who took the order wrote the wrong date on it. I don't know how she managed to do that as I personally told her 3 times that we needed the balloons on the 5th but she wrote the 15th. People don't listen very well sometimes.
The party started at 3:00 PM sharp and there was a photo opportunity with the Birthday Girl and everybody who attended! The first photo taken was with Abuelito:
Adeline and Abuelito
Next came Mimi (me):
Adeline and Mimi
Then Granny Tina arrived:
Adeline and Granny Tina
Then came Daddy and Miss Megan:
Adeline with Daddy and Miss Megan
And then Cousins Sophia and Alicia arrived:
Adeline with Cousins Sophia and Alicia
And next a nice picture with Cousin Sophia and Mommy:
Cousin Sophia, Adeline and Mommy
And then it was Grandma Karen's turn:
Cousin Sophia, Adeline and Grandma Karen
And then came Grandpa Jim:
Cousin Sophia, Adeline and Grandpa Jim
And finally, Aunt Mary and Cousin Alex:
Cousin Alex, Adeline and Aunt Mary
Then the girls posed for such a pretty picture:
The Three Cousins
After the photo sessions, dinner was served. There was Brisket, Broccoli mixed with gold Cauliflower, Macaroni and Cheese, Hot Dogs, and baked chicken. Everything was so delicious, especially the Brisket!
Dinner - Brisket, Broccoli and Cauliflower, Macaroni & Cheese, Hot Dogs, and Baked Chicken
Once everybody was finished eating, it was time to get after the Pinata. Here is a video of Adeline and Cousins Sophia and Alicia getting after Pinky Pie the Pinata:
That was so much fun!!! After the pinata, everybody wanted to have cake and sing Happy Birthday to Adeline. Here is a picture of her cake:
Adeline's Cake
Here is a video of everybody singing Happy Birthday and her blowing out her candle:
After the cake, she opened all of her presents:
Adeline and Cousin Sophia had so much fun playing with her Pony Castle:
Adeline and Cousin Sophia playing with the Pony Castle
Everyone had a wonderful time at the party! Here is a picture of Adeline relaxing with her Mommy after the party:
Adeline relaxing with Mommy
Then Adeline had a nice bath and then went to bed.
Adeline and Mommy right after he bath
After her bath, Adeline went to bed to have some sweet dreams about her party! Let's do it again for her 6th Birthday Party!
I got together with a couple of girls from work this evening and had Dinner at the Olive Garden in Plano. One of the girls, whose name is Phyllis, has been out of work for a year now due to illness and I haven't seen or talked with her since I last saw her at work a year ago. It was very nice to see her and hear how she's doing. It turns out that she has Neuro-sarcoidosis. With this disease, abnormal deposits of white blood cells and abnormal tissue cells
accumulate in the brain, spinal cord, or peripheral nerves, and these
areas can become inflamed. Phyllis' vision has been affected by the disease and her doctor is treating her with corticosteroids, which suppress the immune system and reduce swelling.
The corticosteroids have caused her to swell in her face and stomach. She also cannot return to work due to the fact that her immune system and been suppressed. With her vision problems she has difficulty driving, especially at night. This must be so difficult for her as she is a single mother of a 13 year old girl. Her daughter came with her to Dinner and is a very nice young lady!
It was nice to catch up on what is going on at work as I've been our since December 3rd due to my surgery. Apparently not much went on because work was shut down from December 24 - January 2nd for the holidays. I go back to work on January 8th. One of the girls said that a female manager received a layoff, which made me feel bad because she's a nice lady. She's 67 years old though and was able to retire so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.
Here is a picture of all of us at dinner tonight:
Jana, Phyllis, Sandy, Judy and Mae at the Olive Garden
I pray that Phyllis can recover from her illness or at least get it under control enough so that she can live in comfort and go back to work! I've recently learned first-hand how fragile health can be and am very thankful that mine is returning quickly!
I also got to talk on the phone for a while today with my dear friend Tegan, which was wonderful as always! It's very nice to have friends and spend time with them!
It was Adeline's 5th birthday yesterday. We're having a big My Little Pony family party for her on Saturday, but couldn't let her real birthday go by without recognition. So we sang Happy Birthday to her over cake and ice cream last night. Unfortunately, some of the candle smoke got into her eyes and she ended up crying, the poor kid! Here's a video of her blowing out her candles:
She ended up laughing again a few minutes after she got "smoked". That's okay, a girl has a right to cry or do anything else she wants to on her birthday! Leslie Gore said so a long time ago:
January is a big family birthday month. Today is my brother Mark's birthday and my sister Katie's birthday is on the 23rd. Happy Birthday to all January babies!!!
I spent New Year's Eve 2012 at home, which has become the tradition for the past several years. We had dinner and a birthday party for my stepson Alex, who turned 23 years old yesterday. Here is a picture of him and Adeline with his cake:
Adeline Helping Daddy Blow out His Candles!
Adeline really enjoyed opening all her presents from all of us! She got some really nice presents this year!
The past year was full of ups and downs for me. Some of the most noteworthy downs were the health problems that I experienced. I've been fortunate enough to enjoy excellent health all of my life, but 2012 brought me some problems . . . first a bad kidney infection and septicemia which put me into the hospital during Easter. Then there was the serious Ovarian Cancer scare and subsequent full Hysterectomy that I got in December. What an eye opener that was! Thank God it was severe Endometriosis instead of Ovarian Cancer! I'm recovering very nicely and hope that I won't have any more health problems in 2013!
Then there were my sister and son's health problems, both of which involve seizures. My sister just started throwing Grand Mal seizures in 2012 and was diagnosed with Epilepsy. My son has Grand Mal seizures as a result of a severe brain trauma that he sustained back in 2007. He is remiss in taking his anti-seizure medication sometimes, which results in seizures. He had one at my daughter's party on Christmas Eve, which greatly saddened me. I am terribly worried about both of them and hope that they will be okay!
Then there were the marital problems . . . I'm not going to get into that subject on here. All I can say is that I truly need my personal space and friends and hope that this will not continue to make waves in the future. If it does, things will have to change.
On the up side, I've made a couple of very nice friends, one of who has become very dear to me! Although she lives in another state, we text and talk on the phone every day. She is such an angel and I'm so glad to have her in my life! She really helped me through my cancer scare, which was a Godsend! I look forward to spending much more time with her in the future!
I've also did very well at work this past year and plan to continue to do so. I'm just praying that the Fiscal Cliff doesn't affect my job or anybody else's!!! I'm very thankful for my job and pray that it will remain intact!
Who knows what the future will bring? I just pray that all of my friends and loved ones will make it through the year intact and alive and that all will be well for all of us this time next year!
We flew to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida on December 19th so that we could catch our cruise the next day in Port Everglades. We got to the airport without incident and took off at 12:05 PM on American Airlines Flight 1702, which was a direct flight to Ft. Lauderdale and was very smooth and pleasant! As a matter of fact, something rather noteworthy occurred while we were in flight. We usually fly First Class, but I just couldn't justify the expense for just a 2-1/2 hour flight and we're not Frequent Flyers on American Airlines. So we flew coach and ordered some beer from the cart along with a Fruit and Cheese Plate, which ended up being light and tasty!
Anyway, during the latter part of the flight I got up to wait to use the rest room. One of the flight attendants passed by and told me that I looked cute in my outfit, which was very nice! Before I went into the bathroom she offered us another beer and I accepted, then she added that there would be no charge for the beers and then she wished me a Merry Christmas! When I got out of the bathroom she handed me the beers! I couldn't believe it! How often do people do such random acts of kindness without expecting anything in return!
We landed on time and promptly got all of our luggage. Then we headed to the Embassy Suites and checked into our room right away. The hotel is very nice and is located only 1/2 mile from Port Everglades, where we needed to catch the Cruise. Here are some pictures of the room:
The Bedroom
The Living Room
We dropped our bags in the room and then headed to the Publix that is right next door to shop for some last minute items, some beer to stow in our bags and some of my favorite Publix Roadrunner Raspberry Lowfat Frozen Yogurt with chocolate chips. I used to have this every night after dinner when I lived in Alabama and it tastes so good and doesn't have a lot of fat and calories. Unfortunately, Texas doesn't have Publix stores, so whenever I'm in Florida I make it a point to get some of my favorite frozen yogurt!
My Favorite Frozen Yogurt - So Yummy!
We got back to the hotel just in time for the nightly Manager's Reception and drank a few beers out in the courtyard, which is very pretty and looks like a tropical garden. Here are some pictures of their courtyard:
Me and the Infamous Draft Beer at Happy Hour (Yuck!)
Interesting Hotel Architecture and Palm Trees
Colorful Lanterns Hanging from the Canopy
Christmas Tree and Heat Lanterns
I was tired as I was still recovering from surgery that I got earlier in December and the draft beer didn't sit the greatest. We went to dinner at a restaurant next door called Duffy's Sport Grill and the food and service there sucked! It also didn't help that some woman was smoking cigarettes at the next table and that really made me sick! I cannot stand the smell of cigarette or cigar smoke! I'll not go there again! There is an Outback Restaurant right next door to the hotel that has good food, so I'll go there from now on.
After eating Dinner we went back to the hotel and I fell asleep rather quickly, which was great! I needed the sleep to get ready for boarding the Cruise the next day.
I'm glad that you found your way to my Blog! I like to write posts here about my travels, current events, and my feelings about the people and things that figure prominently in my life. I hope that you enjoy what I have to say here and please feel free to leave me your comments. I would enjoy hearing from you!
