Monday, November 26, 2012

Alive and Kicking

I've been having cramp like pains in my lower abdomen for over a month now.   During the last few weeks or so, the pains started to go into my lower back as well.  This really worried me since I had to be hospitalized for a bad kidney infection last April.  I couldn't get in to see my GP all month, so on two separate occasions  I attended appointments with her associates to try to find out what was wrong with me and get it treated.  On both occasions I ended up getting antibiotics prescribed to treat a bladder infection. However, the cramps didn't go away.  The Friday before last I tried to get an appointment to see my Gynecologist, only to hear that she's on Maternity Leave.  Meanwhile, my GP was still booked solid and I was really hurting!  Consequently, I spent the entire day Saturday before last at the Emergency Room.

I forced myself to leave the house and drive to the ER.  When I got there, the Waiting Room was empty and they admitted me right away.  They gave me an IV, took some blood tests, then gave me a CAT Scan. The CAT Scan revealed what looked like an abnormal left ovary, so the ER doctor ordered an Ultrasound. The Ultrasound revealed an enlarged left ovary with a lesion, cysts in the right ovary, and uterine fibroid tumors.  The ovarian cysts and fibroid tumors were not a surprise as they had shown up in an Ultrasound back in April and didn't appear to be too much of a problem back then.

The ER doctor prescribed some Vicodin and called an associate of his who is a Gynecologist to set me up for an appointment early in the week.  I saw the Gynecologist last Tuesday and she told me that she was still waiting on the results of a CA 125 test to come in from the ER, but that based on what she saw in my Ultrasound report, she thought that I have Endometriosis. She left the room to check if the results from the test came in and then came back to tell me that the results of the CA 125 test were positive.

Hearing her say this stopped me dead in my tracks!  I know I must have had a shocked look on my face, because she immediately told me that the test result should be interpreted that there was increased risk that I could have ovarian cancer, but that it didn't mean that I actually did have it.  She explained that a number of benign conditions can cause elevations of the CA 125 level, including pregnancy, endometriosis, uterine fibroids (benign tumors), pancreatitis, normal menstruation, pelvic inflammatory disease, and liver disease. Benign tumors or cysts of the ovaries can also cause an abnormal test result.  She said that she thought that I have Endometriosis and I know for sure that I have uterine fibroids and ovarian cysts.  I'm praying that these conditions are what caused the positive test result!  Either way, it looks like I'm going to have to have a Hysterectomy and Oophorectomy sometime really soon.

So, I ended up having to set up an appointment with a Gynecological Oncologist for this Thursday.  We'll see what he has to say and then go from there.  In the meantime, I have a Panama Canal Cruise booked to sail from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida on December 20th and return on the 30th.  I really hope that I don't have to have this surgery done before then, because I'll have to postpone the cruise.  Even worse, I had to spend the whole Thanksgiving holiday worrying about whether I have ovarian cancer or not.  I probably won't know for sure until after the hysterectomy.  Needless to say, I've had some pretty dark moments about this whole thing!

Sure, we all have to die someday, but there is nothing more sobering than having to face your own mortality.  The worst part is just hanging and not knowing for sure.  I pray to God I don't have it!

Meanwhile, whether I have it or not, I'm going to try to remain positive and I plan to be alive and kicking for a long time!

So I'll end this post with an appropriate song that has always been one of my favorites, but is even more so now after this experience.




 I know that there's a reason that all of this is happening and I hope that the outcome is a good one!
















Monday, November 12, 2012

Obsession

As evidenced in my past blog posts, the wonderful world of Facebook has presented me with some very interesting experiences, some of which have shown up in the last few months.  There is one in particular going on right now that is absolutely wonderful, but I'm going to keep that to myself . . .  There are several others that have me shaking my head, one of which I wrote about in my previous blog post named "Out of the Blue".

The other experience began on . . .  believe it or not . . . Halloween!  I received a friend request from somebody who is a mutual friend of several other Facebook friends of mine, so I accepted their request.  This person turned out to be extremely intelligent, with a background and interests very similar to mine.  We chatted quite a bit about our past and current experiences and the conversations were very stimulating and enjoyable!  Such a bright and interesting person this friend was turning out to be!

As we continued to chat, this person began to strongly indicate that they wanted to be involved romantically.  I was very clear up front about my current situation and where I stood.  But I will have to say that I found this person's forthrightness and sheer directness to be quite refreshing in a world where there is so much dishonesty and deception.  However, their desire to be involved increased exponentially in a very small amount of time, to the point where they were professing their love after only talking with me for about a week. 

Despite the fact that this person is incredibly intelligent and possesses many outstanding qualities, their behavior was becoming a bit unsteady.  They were starting to go to emotional extremes and were all over the place.  They announced that they had made travel plans to come to Dallas to have dinner with me!  This was happening way too fast and was becoming a bit worrisome!  This all made me very sad because I know that they've been through a whole lot this past year! 

Well, one recent evening it became quite obvious that they were being very standoffish to me on Facebook.  However, it didn't surprise me with all the emotional extremes they had been experiencing in such a short time.  They messaged me the next morning to apologize, saying that a visit to their therapist had made it clear that they were suffering emotional extremes due to everything they have been through over the past year.  They also indicated that they would like to just remain friends on Facebook, which is fine with me!

This situation brought back an old song by Animotion to mind:




To be honest, I like this friend very much, especially their keen intelligence and directness!  I do hope that they can find peace, stability and what they need in their life!  They've worked very hard and deserve it!  

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Veterans Day 2012

This Veteran's Day 2012 marks the one year anniversary of my Blog!  I ended up starting my Blog this time last year in response to a smart-ass comment from somebody who called herself "Snark".  Snark's remark, along with my true passion for our country and it's veterans, got this whole thing started!  Thank you, Snark and a huge thank you to all veterans who have served in our Armed Forces!  I don't often like to talk about myself, but this Blog helps me greatly to express what is in my heart, which has helped me immensely!

I also want to honor my ancestors who have honorable served our country and have updated my memorial picture of them:

In Honor of My Veteran Ancestors

I also need to honor my 1st cousin 3x removed, Captain Michael Duffy.  He served in the 69th Pennsylvania - Philadelphia Brigade and was killed in action on July 2, 1863 at the Angle in Gettysburg.  He was only 24 years old when he died, but looked to be about 60 years old in his picture below:


In Honor of Captain Michael Duffy

Soldiers in the Civil War lived under some very harsh conditions, and it really showed!  I'm proud to say that the 69th Pennsylvania - Philadelphia Brigade consisted mostly of Irish immigrants and it's memorial at Gettysburg has a shamrock on it!

And last, but not least, I also want to honor a very special person very close to me who sacrificed greatly in service of our country.  Tegan, thank you for your selfless and honorable service to our country!  You are so hard on yourself for being human, but you are one of the bravest and kindest souls that I've ever met!  I'm so proud of you and your service! 


For Major Tegan Marie Smith, Thank You for your Service!

Thank you so much to all of the special veterans in my life and to all US and Canadian veterans!