I have gained a good number of friends since I joined Facebook last year. These friends consist of relatives; classmates from Elementary and High School; people I knew when growing up in PA; friends at work; and people I have met on Facebook.
I was on vacation last week on a cruise and wasn't able to get online due to a lack of connectivity. This break from the internet gave me time to give some serious thought to what constitutes a Facebook "friend". The biggest thing that kept coming to mind is that there needs to be two-way correspondence. I also need for my friends to be courteous and considerate. There are some friends that I currently have on Facebook who have made it very apparent that they are seriously self-centered, some to the point of narcissism. I find this disturbing and hope that these people can eventually learn the joy of caring about others.
Others like to collect friends and seem to get great satisfaction in having thousands of them, but this is not me. I believe in quality over quantity.
I had a birthday yesterday, and after contemplating what constitutes a "friend" on Facebook, I saw this as an opportunity to see which friends stepped up to the plate in the "consideration" category. I grew up in a home where somebody's birthday was a very special day and it was treated accordingly. I have carried this tradition forward into my adult life and enjoy having birthday parties for my family and observing my friends' birthdays.
It turned out that around 40% of my friends wished me a Happy Birthday, which I think is pretty good! There were a few who said some truly sweet things and it really made me feel great! I thank these friends very much for their sweetness and consideration! They truly made my day!
I was somewhat disappointed that a few friends, particularly one who I hold in very high esteem, were not in the 40% mentioned above. To be fair, sometimes folks get extremely busy at work and with personal affairs and cannot be on Facebook often enough to attend to their "friends" there. This is very understandable. However, there are others who seem to be online all of the time but don't seem to think that things like friend's birthdays, anniversaries, or two-way correspondence is important. This is fine for them but not for me.
So, after even more contemplation and bearing in mind that it is now Springtime, I have come to a conclusion: I am going to do some Spring cleaning on my Facebook account. All of my relatives will stay, even if they don't correspond with me very often. Everybody who was considerate enough to wish me a Happy Birthday yesterday will remain my friend. However, "friends" who have never attempted to correspond with me will not remain. A connection is pointless if there is no give and take.
Disconnections from some "friends" will be effortless as they have not shown any interest at all in getting to know me. However, there are others that I will have ponder very carefully. I have fallen into the trap in the past of truly caring about people who don't care about me, so I will have to think very hard about who these "friends" are and then I will let them go. These disconnections will be hard for me to do, but necessary to move on in my life.
For anybody who cares to read this and I end up choosing to end our Facebook connection, if you are truly interested in connecting with me again, please message me and I will be happy to make it happen.
In my honest opinion, all relationships require some work and need to include consideration, courtesy and correspondence, even on Facebook! There are a good number of you out there who fit this bill and I'm very glad that you are my friends! For those who don't fit the bill, please try harder at being a friend and you will be greatly rewarded!
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Thanks MK! Spring cleaning is always empowering and I am finding it especially so on Facebook. There's some things on here holding me back in life and I have to clean them up and let them go in order to move on.
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