My marriage has always been a very good one, but lately it seems that it is being tested. In December 2010, my husband's granddaughter Adeline came to live with us due to some rather unfortunate circumstances. She was 2 years old at the time and then turned 3 in January. She wasn't potty trained at the time and was under serious emotional duress. Both my husband's children and mine are grown and it has been a major life change taking her into our custody. It has changed our lives drastically and has taken somewhat of a toll on our relationship because we don't get to spend as much time together as we did before.
Since my husband and I met, I have been on a computer most of the time working on classes, looking for good airline fares and trips, doing ancestral research and just being the information junkie that I am. Not long after Adeline came to live with us, I got onto Facebook to talk with family and some friends. I'm not on Facebook to look for hook-ups or anything like that! I like Facebook for the fact that it enables me to keep up with my children, cousins, and people that I knew in school. I've made a few friends there, but they are just friends. My husband hates the fact that I'm on Facebook and we ended up having another huge argument over it last weekend.
This really makes me feel like I am a 15 year old girl again, living at home with my parents and my father is riding my ass because I'm doing something that he doesn't like! I just can't stand it! I guess he feels like he's not my 1st priority anymore, which is untrue. I work all day long and then come home and help to take care of Adeline and the household. I don't go anywhere else! I've worked hard to get where I am now in life and I really don't want people telling me what I can and can't do, especially in my own home!
Another dark cloud on the horizon is my job. I'm not sure how much longer the project that I'm on will have work for me. I'm hoping to get onto another project, but it doesn't look like this will happen until later on in the year. There's also what could be snag on this new project. I just found out that a person that I had a run-in with back in 2006 has taken a position on this project and is working directly for the Project Manager. I've interacted with this person since the run-in and things have been okay, but there's this nagging worry in the back of my mind that they might try to keep me from getting onto this project by telling the Project Manager their side of the "run-in" story. It's not like the run-in was anything terrible, but people can be funny. The economy is not good and there is not an abundance of work out there. I don't want to have to take a job in another state and move everybody again, but it might come down to that if I don't get onto this new project. I'm quite worried about this!
And last, but not least, I'm worried about my children. They live in a different state far from us and I'm not there locally to see them on a frequent basis or help them first hand, if needed. My daughter just got married last year and she and her husband moved into their own apartment. They are really struggling to make ends meet. This makes me feel very bad! Although they do need to learn how to live on a tight budget, I feel that I could help them more if I lived closer.
Then there's my son, who I anguish about constantly. He's been living off of monies for the past few years from a settlement he received due to a near fatal car accident that he was in back in 2007. He's not a very motivated person and doesn't take the best care of himself. He's on anti-seizure medications as a result of the car accident, and when he doesn't take his medicine or get enough rest and hydration, he ends up throwing Grand Mal seizures. Fortunately, he lives in the same townhouse complex as my daughter and her husband, who look in on him on a frequent basis. Unfortunately, my daughter witnessed his last episode with seizures and was very unnerved by what she saw. Again, I feel bad that I don't live closer so that I could help him some more. I'm so afraid that I'm going to get a call one day with news that he is dead. He's 21 years old, so all I can do right now is pray that he'll be okay. This is not a good feeling!
The bottom line is, all I can do is my absolute best and keep praying that all will work out okay. I hope that time will stabilize this shaky ground that I'm standing on right now.
So, my song for today's post is a cool, funky tune that I used to listen to back when I was a kid:
There ain't nothing like some funky music to make living on the edge more bearable!
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