WIll My Real Family Please Stand Up

The last few years have brought some significant changes into my life, some good and some bad.  These changes were a result of some very hard personal decisions that I needed to make in order to ensure my own happiness and well being.  During times like these, kindness and support from family and friends is a blessing.  As with most people, I've always relied on certain family members for unconditional love and support.  However, what has come to pass during this past year has brought me to the following realization:  Blood means that you're related, it doesn't mean that you're family.

I'm shocked and saddened that somebody who I've always thought had my back has passed judgement and turned their back on me.  They've just cut me out of their life because I no longer conform to their "conservative" values.  I feel compelled to add that my personal decisions have not affected them in any way. 

This has caused me considerable sadness and anger at the same time.  This person has turned out to be such a self-righteous hypocrite!  Who the hell do they think they are passing judgement on me?  I've done nothing wrong to them or anybody else!  I need to let go of this, but it's been hard.  As of late, I've been finding considerable solace in the following saying: 

God says "the reason why some people have turned against you and walked away from you without reason has nothing to do with you.  It is because I have removed them from your life because they cannot go where I am taking you next.  They would only hinder you at the next level because they have already served their purpose in your life.  Let them go and keep moving."  Greater is coming your way, says the Lord.

Here's another saying that I've come to find comforting and true:

I will say that I'm very thankful that my dear sister has stood by my side unconditionally.  Thank God for her, Tegan and the rest of the people who are there for me no matter what happens!  They are my true family!  The rest are just a part of the passing parade.

And When I Die

My daughter has been hinting over the past month or so that something big could be happening in her life. Deep down I knew what it was she was alluding to, but I found out for sure a few weeks ago.  She's expecting another baby, with a due date of May 9, 2015!  Here's a picture from the first sonogram that she had taken this past week:

Baby Waving at Mommy and Daddy!

The baby looks like he/she is waving!  Thankfully, everything in the sonogram looked good!

I asked Nicole if her and Brandon have any names picked out for the baby.  She told me that they like "Sterling" for a boy and "Nora" for a girl, after my dear mother Nora!  I love both names and was especially happy to hear about them wanting to name a girl after my mother!

My mother's name is actually spelled "Norah" on her birth certificate.  We're certain that she was named after her grandmother Honorah Hart.  The name "Honorah" means honor. When I told Nicole about this, she said that she really likes the name spelled as "Norah" and likes the name "Honorah" as well.  Maybe they'll spell it as "Norah" if they have a girl.

I'm very excited about this baby!  It's especially nice to know that if the baby is a girl, she will have my mother's name and that our mtDNA line will carry on, from our distant maternal ancestors to Honorah Hart->Minnie Reilly->my mother->me->Nicole, and then to the baby, whether it's a boy or girl. However, only females carry their mother's mtDNA line on to their children.

Blood Sweat and Tears recorded a song back in 1969 called "When I Die".  The refrain of the song goes like this:

"And when I die and when I'm gone, there'll be one child born and a world to carry on, to carry on".

Here's a link to the song:

And When I Die

 I'm thrilled to know that I have grandchildren to carry on my ancestral line!

12/20/2014 Update

Nicole just had another doctor visit and found out that the baby is a girl!  Now I'll have a grandson and granddaughter!  She's still unsure about what to name the baby, but it's now looking like Nora will be her middle name.  My mother would be so honored!

A Rendezvous at the Rainbow Bridge

It was a very sad day today! A member of our family passed away around 4:30 PM this afternoon.  Katy was a sweet Dalmatian/Pointer mix and Tegan's loyal companion for ten years.  Her vet in Georgia told Tegan back in early 2013 that Katy wouldn't make it through the Summer, but she made it one year past that mark. 

She was such a pretty dog!  Here's a picture of her in a red bandana that I took back in mid-March of this year:

Katy in her Red Scarf

She was such a happy dog and was always smiling!

She had hip dysplasia and ended up getting osteoarthritis in her shoulders.  It started getting bad several months ago.  Although Tegan got her some medicine from the vet,  she deteriorated rapidly over the last few weeks to the point where she was falling and couldn't get up.  She also become incontinent, which was getting very difficult to handle.

We planned to board her at the usual doggie kennel during an upcoming weekend trip to Galveston.  Unfortunately, the owner of the kennel informed Tegan that Katy's health was too bad for her to continue to board there.  We tried to hold on to her as long as humanely possible, but Tegan came to the realization on Monday that it was time to let her go in peace and dignity.

Tegan called Katy's vet at the Breckinridge Animal Hospital on Monday and made an appointment to set Katy free.  What's remarkable is that it has been six months to the day since we brought Tegan's other dog Sheila to the same place to set her free from her pain and misery. 

Tegan picked me up at work today and we went home and got Katy.  We let her outside for a while to have a last romp in the back yard:

Katy's Last Romp in the back yard

Tegan got her into the truck and then we drove her over to the hospital.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, the women in that place are very caring and wonderful!  The hospital has a very nice sitting room for family members to be with their pets during their final moments.  The vet gave Katy a sedative to help her relax and then we visited with her for around fifteen minutes until the vet returned to give her the final shot. 

Here's a picture of Tegan sitting with Katy right before she quietly went to sleep:

The Last Visit

We sat with her for a while after she passed away and then left her in the sitting room.  We're having the same company who took care of Sheila's cremation take care of Katy as well.  Once we get her cremains back, we'll set them on the fireplace mantel right next to Sheila and my brother Jon's ashes.  Jon loved dogs and I know that all three of them will enjoy each others company.

Right after Katy went to sleep, I felt the same peaceful feeling that I did right after Sheila passed away.  Neither of them have to suffer any more and we're sure that they had a wonderful rendezvous at the Rainbow Bridge!

Taking Paris Green

My brother and I have been actively researching our family tree for a long time now.  Getting any information earlier than our g-g grandparents has been nearly impossible as we are descended primarily from Irish immigrants.  Unfortunately, almost all of the records acquired by the Public Record Office of Ireland before 1922 were destroyed by fire and explosion at the beginning of the Irish Civil War in June 1922. As a result, the material now held by the National Archives dates mainly from the 19th and 20th centuries. This huge hole in ancestral records has led to some fruitless searches to date.

One of these fruitless searches has been my quest.to find out the name of my paternal g-grandmother Mary Carey Creahan's mother. I ordered g-grandmother Mary's death certificate from the Pennsylvania Department of Vital Records a few years ago, but they came up empty.  This was surprising as we know her birth and death dates because she's buried with most of my.paternal relatives in the North and South Cemetery in Tobyhanna, PA.

About a month ago, I was doing some research on Ancestry.com and discovered that they've just posted Pennsylvania Death Certificates from 1906 - 1924, which is in the year range that g-grandmother Mary Creahan died. I found death certificates in this database for several relatives which contained some pretty sad information.  One of them was Mary Creahan's son Martin, Jr., who died at 26 years old from septicemia as a result of an abdominal injury that he sustained from a fall. Martin, Jr. died in March 1912 and g-grandmother Mary's death followed 8 months later in November 1912.   

I tried several traditional methods to search this database for Mary's death certificate to no avail, so I ended up resorting to more brute force methods.  The database contains 2,477,238 records, so I finally ended up filtering out everything except the month of November, year 1912 and female gender, which pared the results down to a "mere" 282,324 records.  There wasn't a lot of rhyme and reason in these results, but I started looking through all of the records in hopes that I'd find her. My persistence finally paid off when I saw a garbled looking name and location of death and opened the record.  Once I opened it, I knew that it was her record.

The certificate was completed by Dr George Rhodes, who was the town doctor for Tobyhanna at that time.  No offense to Dr. Rhodes but his writing was terrible, which fully explains why the record was transcribed so badly!  Fortunately, I'm pretty good at reading bad writing.  Once I looked the certificate over more closely, I got a good feel for Dr. Rhode's writing.  What I found was so shocking that I had to read it three times to make sure that I wasn't seeing things!

The "Medical Certificate of Death" portion of the certificate provides the following directions to the physician completing it:

State the Disease Causing Death; or in deaths from Violent Causes, state (1) Means of Injury; and (2) whether Accidental, Suicidal, or Homicidal.  In this spot, Dr. Rhodes clearly wrote "Suicidal". Under the "Contributory (Secondary)" cause he wrote "Taking Paris Green".  I had to read this several times, all of the time wondering what the hell is Paris Green?  A Google search told me that Paris Green was a common name for an extremely toxic blue green chemical with four main uses: pigment, animal poison (mostly rodenticide), insecticide, and blue colorant for fireworks. Here's what the container looked like:

Paris Green

This discovery has lead to many questions in my mind.  Why did my g-grandmother take her own life?  How did my father and aunt not know anything about this?  Did my grandmother Julia Creahan West and her siblings know how she died?  My grandmother was 22 years old and her brother Pete was 24 at the time and they were both living at home when this happened. How could they not know?  According to her death certificate, Dr. Rhodes last saw her alive on the day that she died and that she passed away at 1 PM.  This means that somebody at the house knew that she was dying because they got Dr. Rhodes to come to the house, unless Mary called him herself. 

I've scoured the newspapers of that time and there isn't an obituary or any mention of her death. However, it is notable that she's buried with the family in their plot at the North & South Cemetery, which is a Catholic cemetery. Prior to 1983, the Church denied funeral rites for suicide cases. In Catholic cemeteries, excommunicates, suicides and the like were buried in a grave that was located well away from others.  This strongly leads me to believe that my g-grandmother's suicide was kept a secret.


I've tried to see things like she would at the time in order to better understand why she wanted to die.  The 1910 Census for Coolbaugh, Monroe Pennsylvania (Tobyhanna) reveals that she had 12 children and that only 5 were living at the time of the Census. I know for a fact that five of these children were not infants when they died because they're buried in the North & South Cemetery.  Here's a list of their names and ages at death:  

• Thomas Francis - 3 years old
• Michael - 8 years old
• Thomas H. - 9 years old
• John - 25 years old
• Martin - 26 years old

According to family oral history, the other two children were twins who died in infancy, for a total of 7 children preceding their parents in death, which is beyond tragic!  More family oral history has it that another house that the family lived in on the same property burned down and two boys died in the fire.  According the the family gravestone at the North and South Cemetery, Michael and Thomas H. died in 1883 within one day of each other, which makes this story somewhat believable. I've looked all over the newspapers from that time and have found nothing to date on the fire or their deaths.  I hope that I'll find something one day that will shed more light on what happened to them.

Here's a picture of the Creahan family gravestone at the North and South Cemetery:

Creahan Family Gravestone at the North and South Cemetery

Mary was 62 years old when she died, which was 6 years past the life expectancy for women during those days.  I'm sure that she had to work very hard around the house and there likely wasn't much money.  All of this aside, she had just lost another son in March of that year and he was only 26 years old.  According to his death certificate, Martin had his accident on February 5, 1912 and was treated by Dr. Rhodes up until March 20, 1912, the day before he died.  Mary must have taken care of him during that time.

I honestly believe that Martin's death put my g-grandmother over the edge.  I can't even imagine losing any of my children, let alone 7 of them!  It must have been so terrible for her and my g-grandfather Martin!  God, please bless my g-grandmother!  Please give her a special place with you in heaven!

04/11/2015 Update

I happened upon my g-grandmother's obituary from the Scranton Republican last week:

Mary Carey Creahan Obituary in the Scranton Republican, Wednesday, November 20, 1912, Page 19

It's not surprising that it doesn't mention how she died.  However, this obituary has revealed that only my Uncle Pete lived at home when she died, and since he worked for the Railroad, it's likely that he wasn't at the house when it happened.  This leads me to believe that the way she died was not shared with her children.


10/1/2016 Update





We took a vacation over the Labor Day Weekend and visited my Aunt and sister in Tobyhanna.  We had great visits with my sister and her husband at their home and an enjoyable Lunch with my Aunt and sister at Bailey's Rib and Steak House in Mt. Pocono, PA.  After Lunch, we went to my Aunt's house for cake and coffee and some move visiting. My Aunt had promised me that she'd find the tin type picture that she had in her attic of g-grandmother Mary Carey Creahan.  She went to look in the attic, but it was too hot and she couldn't find it.  

Around a week later, a large envelope arrived for me in the mail from my Aunt.  I was dancing with excitement as I made my way back inside with the mail!  I opened the envelope and found the beautiful tin type picture of my g-grandmother!  She was quite a striking looking woman!  Here is her picture:

G-Grandmother Mary Carey Creahan circa 1870

 

Requiescat in Pace, Larry Archer

I was sitting in a meeting yesterday at work and briefly stepped out to use the Ladies Room.  As I was walking out of our work area, our Office Administrator (OA) was walking back in and looked to be crying. I stopped in my tracks and somebody asked me if I knew why she was crying.  Since I didn't know, I turned around and went back into our work area to find out what was wrong.  At that time I saw our Program Manager and another Manager standing there with her and I looked askance at the PM as to what was going on. He asked me if I had heard the terrible news that one of our Operations Managers named Larry Archer had died. 

I was shocked to hear of his death as he had just been at work all of the previous day, as usual.  He was supposed to be on vacation on this day.  From what I understand, he and his wife were at Dinner in a restaurant when Larry had a fatal heart attack at 67 years old. He had worked on our project for 18 years and now he was gone, with no warning whatsoever!  Everybody at work is so shocked and saddened by his death!

It's so strange that one could learn so much about somebody after they pass away.  I read his obituary today and learned that he was an Irish Catholic and went to Catholic School, just like me.  He also worked overseas and traveled the world extensively like I have. He has the most magnificent and upbeat obituary that I've ever read and I love how it tells of his travels, how he met his wife, and how he proposed to her in April in Paris!  How could one ever know that Larry was such a romantic man from just seeing him at work from time to time?

Allen Family Funeral Options did a beautiful job on his online memorial!  They have a wonderful picture there of him and a 45 minute tribute video with beautiful music and pictures of him and his family throughout the years.   Here is the picture that they have of him on his tribute page:

Lawrence Joseph Archer

It's such a sad and lonely experience when somebody you've known for a long time at work or elsewhere passes away.  It leaves a big, empty spot there at work. It also forces everybody to think about their own mortality.

Larry got really close to retirement, but never quite made it.  It's very sad that he had to die right before an upcoming trip to see all of his family in New York!

I was reading some of the condolences left for him on his tribute page by people from work. One guy said that he had worked with Larry for the past 18 years and would really miss him and the emails that Larry sent to him in Latin.  This really made me smile as my bet is that both this guy and Larry learned Latin serving as altar boys, just like my brothers did when we were growing up!

This said, I just want to say some last words to Larry in Latin . . . Requiescat in pace, Larry Archer.  You will never be forgotten by the people you worked with here in Dallas!

Sweet Baby in Baltimore

We took off last Saturday morning, March 29, 2014 to see my grandson and kids in Baltimore, Maryland.  It was an early morning flight and we only encountered one traffic light on our way to Dallas Love Field Airport. We got there and stowed our bags at the curb with the Skycap. I was lucky enough to get selected for TSA Pre, which meant that I didn't have to take off my belt or shoes.  This was great since I have a broken ankle and was wearing a boot!

We boarded Southwest Airlines Flight 672 and it took off  towards Baltimore.  The flight attendants were very nice but the bathroom in the front of the plane smelled like an outhouse that had been sitting in direct hot sun for about a week! One of the flight attendants said that it always smelled like that on morning flights, but I've flown many times and have never encountered such stench on a plane! I'm sure that it was left uncleaned for at least overnight.

We were greeted in Baltimore by dark grey skies and cold rain. What nasty weather!  We claimed our luggage and went to get our rental car, which was a GM Captiva with wonderful heated seats! We drove to the Hilton Garden Inn in Owings Mills, MD and checked in. We went to our room and relaxed for a while, then went to the Red Robin at the Restaurant Park a block down from the hotel to get some late lunch/early dinner.  We got an appetizer of onion rings on a tower with some dipping sauces, which was delicious!  Tegan Marie got a big burger and fries and I got a BLT with avocado and a bowl of chicken tortilla soup.  Tegan enjoyed her meal and I liked the soup, but wouldn't order the BLTA again.

After we finished eating, we went to visit with Nicole, Brandon and Branson at their townhouse in Eldersburg.. Branson is so chubby and adorable with his square face, big blue eyes and pouty little lips!  He has thick, light reddish-brown hair and big pink cheeks!  He looks like one of the Campbell's Soup kids!

We held him and he "talked" to us.  He smiled and cooed a lot.  I just loved rubbing his chubby little feet and kissing his chubby little cheeks!  Here's a cool set of animated pictures of me giving him an never-ending kiss on his chubby little cheek:

Love Those Chubby Cheeks!

Here's a picture of Branson sitting on Tegan's lap blowing bubbles:

Branson blowing bubbles with Auntie Tegan

We visited for a few hours and then headed back to the hotel. Since our last meal was much earlier, we went back to the Red Robin and got a large order of Towering Onion Rings and some dessert. Tegan got a Gooey Chocolate Brownie Cake and I got Double Berry Cheesecake.  The food was good but the service not the greatest due to the fact that it was late and the people working there wanted to go home.

We finished our dessert and headed back to the hotel to get ready for bed.  I have to say that the cold and rain truly had a bad effect on our trip this time. Unfortunately, Tegan Marie only brought some canvas flat shoes with knee high hose and her feet got soaked and were freezing. Understandably, this made her feel miserable!  I also wasn't feeling well and kept hacking due to my LPR. I hate getting my clothes and hair wet and had to keep putting my coat over my head to get back and forth from the car, which was not a pleasant experience!

We turned in and slept to around Noon, which was great!  We got up, showered and then went to the IHOP on Liberty Road right next to the Rite Aid where I used to buy Justin's diapers. The service and food were excellent!  Sarah, our waitress took really good care of us!  Part way through our meal we noticed that the rain was starting to look thick.  Next thing we knew, it was snowing outside!  Yes, snowing on March 30th!

We finished our meal and then went to the Payless Shoes Store next door to get Tegan some warm shoes.  Next was the Rite Aid for some drinks and warm socks. Then we headed over to Nicole and Brandon's place to visit.  Here's a really cool animated picture of Tegan in .the snow outside of Brandon and Nicole's townhouse:

The Snow-globe Princess!

She looks like she's standing in a snow globe in this picture!

We visited with Brandon, Nicole and Branson until my son Justin arrived at 6:30 PM.  He gave me a beautiful bouquet of red roses and a card as a belated birthday present, which was very sweet!  Here's a picture of the roses:

Birthday Roses from Justin

We chatted for a while and then Nicole, Justin, Tegan and I headed to the Osaka Japanese Restaurant for some dinner.  We invited Brandon but he didn't want to go, so he stayed home with Branson.

We enjoyed visiting over our meal!  Here's a picture of Justin, Nicole and Tegan and I siting at the Hibachi table getting ready to eat dinner:

Family Hibachi Dinner

We finished our meal and then headed back to Nicole and Brandon's house and dropped off Nicole and Justin and then headed back to the hotel.  We stayed up for a while and talked and ate some ice cream bars, then we fell asleep.

We slept late the next morning again and then headed back over to the IHOP.  The bad weather and exhaustion of being away from home so much really started taking its toll right around this time!  We were just worn out and frazzled and everything was getting on our nerves!  We finished eating and then headed over to Nicole and Brandon's place. When we got there, Dave and Colleen Holsey, Nicole's in-laws were there.  They had stopped by to visit on their way home from Ocean City, MD.  We visited with them for a while and then they went home.  

We stayed a little while longer and then headed back to the hotel for a while and then went to have some Dinner at the Ruby Tuesday's down the road, then we turned into bed at the Hotel.

The next day Nicole called to say that the Holseys had invited us all to Dinner at their house. We met Nicole and Brandon at their place and followed them to the Holseys. Here's a cute picture of Branson all packed up and in his car seat and ready to go:

Branson is Packed Up and Ready to Go!

We had a nice visit at the Holsey's, especially with Dave's mother, Miss Bobby.  She is one of the sweetest ladies that I've ever met and reminds me somewhat of my own mother.  She's just recently recovered from a bad bout of C-Diff, which put her in the hospital several times.  I'm so glad that she's feeling better and is able to hold Branson now!

Dinner was a yummy lasagne with garlic bread and a glass of wine, finished with a delicious strawberry shortcake for dessert! We finished dinner and visited for a while, then headed back to the hotel to go to sleep.

The next day we packed up and moved to the Hilton Garden Inn at the Baltimore Washington International Airport.  We did this to be closer to the airport when we flew out the next day.  We drove back out to Eldersburg and visited with Brandon and Nicole and to play with Branson for the last time before we left. Then we returned to the Hotel and then went to Dinner at the Ruby Tuesday's about a mile down the road.  There was nothing special about the food there, to be honest.

The next day we got up and showered, then had a nice leisurely Breakfast at the Bob Evans right in front of the Hotel.  Then we dropped off the rental car and enjoyed our flight back to Dallas.  Over the course of the flight home, two different women gave us two drink coupons, so we each got two free drinks!  I guess we must have looked like we needed a drink, LOL!

We were very glad to get home.  I guess our visit must have tired out Branson.  Here's a picture that Nicole sent of him after we left.

Branson is Pooped from our visit!

Boy does he look pooped!  Just like Mimi and Auntie Tegs!  All in all, it was a very nice visit, despite the horrible weather and not feeling well!



The Mystery Bouquet

I had a long day at work today!  I was exhausted and wasn't feeling very well to boot.  I suffered from a sore throat and coughing for most of the day, which I'm sure can be attributed to the Laryngophyaryngeal Reflux (LPR) Disease that has crept up on me this past year or so.  Not a fun day at all!  I was supposed to work out with my trainer at the Gym, but called to cancel since I felt so terrible. You can rest assured that when I cancel a training session that I'm feeling really lousy!

When we got home and walked up to the door, there was a package from Pro Flowers waiting on the porch for me. I have a birthday coming up at the end of the week and figured that a family member was sending me some flowers for that.  I opened the package to find a lovely bouquet of Japanese orchids! There was a card accompanying the flowers, but there was no note or name on it!  I called Pro Flowers and told them that the card was empty and asked if they could tell me who sent the flowers, but they couldn't tell me a thing.

So now I have a lovely mystery bouquet sitting on the buffet.  Here's what it looks like:

The Mystery Bouquet

The package was addressed to "Mae", which means that whoever sent the flowers isn't an immediate family member as most of them use my formal name "Mary" when they send me something.

I don't know if I'll ever find out who sent me these lovely flowers, but thank you very much to whoever did send them!  It was a very lovely surprise that helped leave my day on a much better note!

March 22, 2014 Update

Well, the bouquet mystery has been solved!  My daughter-in-law, Anne Amaya and her sweet daughter Cassandra sent me the flowers for my birthday!  Thank you for the beautiful flowers, Anne and Cassie!
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