Something that a friend posted on Facebook a few days ago reached out and captured my heart! It was a very astute observation written by George Carlin. For anybody who is reading this, it is well worth your time to go to this link and read George's words:
The last sentence of his observation is very pertinent to what is going on in my life right now:
"Always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away."
Most of us live our lives plodding through our day to day routines, checking off the boxes as we go, never taking the time to follow our dreams. Where is the passion in that? Yes, daily routines are safe, predictable and comfortable and we need them to take care of business. But they do not take our breath away! Sometimes we just have to jump off of the proverbial cliff and fly. Taking the plunge is scary, but it's necessary for personal growth and happiness.
So just now I saw another post that has spoken to me so strongly that I see it as a sign:
"Life is too short to . . . wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it'd be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."
I learned at a very young age that rainbows signify that whenever there are storms in life (or bad stuff), God is present and
that after the storm passes there will be something beautiful to come. So it is fitting that a very close friend just gave me this beautiful rainbow necklace and matching earrings:
Me in Rainbow Necklace and Matching Earrings
Here is a picture that I love and find to have great significance:
I'm focusing on my rainbow and it's leading me closer and closer to the cliff's edge. I know that one day in the not too distant future that I'm going to jump off and fly.
I grew up in a household that was plagued with marital strife. My father was a dictator . . . a veritable modern day Napoleon. My mother did what most women did back then, she gave up her job at the Bell Telephone Company as soon as she married dad and started having kids. It was so sad to see a beautiful and intelligent woman have to beg for money for groceries and clothes for us kids. She used to wear the same house dress day in and out because the old man was such a tightwad. She deserved so much better than the life that she lived! Dad was classically passive aggressive and mom was always so depressed and lonely.
Watching the way that my mother was treated made me into what I am today. I was determined to get a good education so that I could stand on my own two feet and not have to take any shit from a husband or anybody else. As a matter of fact, I swore up and down that I'd never get married, but somehow, here I am now in my second marriage.
My spouse is very reliable and dependable and has many admirable qualities. However, this is his third marriage and bad experiences have caused him to have a hard time with trust. He doesn't trust me to have any friends or talk much to anybody at all. I have made some really nice friends through Facebook, and one of them is very special and close. As a result, accusations have been flying frequently, which is unfair as I've not done anything wrong.
So now I'm at a point where I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I stand accused of doing things that I haven't done. This isn't fair and it just can't go on!
One of my favorite songs by Elvis Presley describes the situation that I find myself in now:
We can't go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds
Yes, Elvis you were right! I've always bent over backwards to keep peace and harmony at home, often at my own expense. I'm tired of sacrificing my needs for others, especially when I stand accused of doing things that I haven't done!
A very close friend recently sent me this beautiful picture:
She's right, I really do need to follow my heart. And rest assured, I will.
About two weeks ago, which was 3 weeks after my Hysterectomy, I started having icy hot flashes. When I have these flashes, my whole body feels like I've rubbed Icy Hot Sports Cream all over it, especially in the upper half! Then about a week ago I started waking up in the middle of the night bathed with sweat. I've been sweating so much that the sheets underneath me have been wet! Since I no longer have ovaries, my body isn't producing estrogen. This is causing the hot flashes and night sweats. I'm happy to say that I've not been suffering from any kind of depression or hormonal lunacy though.
My concerns about feeling like a lunatic are due to what I witnessed my mother go through after going through a surgical menopause. She had to have an emergency hysterectomy after giving birth to my sister back in 1966. The after effects were not pretty! I remember one particular episode where she was on her hands and knees on the carpet just screaming uncontrollably! Of course my mother didn't drive and was stuck in the house with 3 kids and an infant at the time, but this is certainly not a good memory or example of post hysterectomy effects!!! God bless my poor mother!
Most women can start Hormonal Replacement Therapy (HRT) right away after a Hysterectomy. However, since I had severe Endometriosis, I cannot do this until six months after my surgery. I'm concerned about this due to the risk of bone loss and heart attacks that can occur when there is no more estrogen in a woman's body. The most that I can do right now is take Black Cohosh to help reduce the hot flashes. I am also resuming my normal exercise routine at the Gym this week, which should definitely help as well.
I'm happy to say that I got through surgery, the holidays and being on a cruise and I didn't gain any weight! It's good to enter into the 2013 in decent shape and I intend on improving my fitness level even more!
Here is a photo of me in my orange dress two weeks ago:
Me on the Last Night of the Cruise on December 29, 2012
Last night I was looking on You Tube for some new songs to put onto my IPOD to listen to while I do my cardio workouts at the Gym and I came across this:
It's Madonna's "Justify My Love" music video. The song's haunting melody, tribal beat and visceral lyrics jumped out and just grabbed me! The video is incredibly sexy as well! The people in it are so beautifully non-binary!
I love all of the lyrics, but the sections that I love the best are in the beginning and then at the end of the song:
So romantic in the beginning with . . .
I wanna kiss you in Paris
I wanna hold your hand in Rome
I wanna run naked in a rainstorm
Make love in a train cross-country
You put this in me
So now what, so now what?
. . . and then so compelling in the end:
Poor is the man Whose pleasures depend On the permission of another Love me, that's right, love me I wanna be your baby
Yes, poor is anyone whose pleasures depend on the permission of another!!!!! This makes me think about all of the times that I've held back during my life from getting what I really needed because somebody else didn't want me to have it and/or society didn't approve. Why do we have to limit ourselves so much to societal norms and pressures? Do we really care that much about what people think of us? The older I get, the more I want to break out of this mold that I've been trapped in all of my life. It just doesn't fit me . . . it never has and it never will!!!
Life's responsibilities tend to keep us trapped in our molds and breaking free is very hard to do! It makes us go through life like zombies, moving automatically about our daily routines without feeling. But just like a caterpillar in a cocoon, I know that one day soon that I'll be ready to go from sitting in the dark and waiting into bursting into the light as a butterfly! And there's another butterfly out there waiting for me to join them!
I returned to work today after being on Short Term Disability since December 3rd. It was cold and wet outside, but when I walked into work I got a very warm welcome from many people, including some hugs! It was very nice to know that people missed me while I was gone! My desk looked exactly the way it did when I left, which was good to see. I've had the misfortune in the past of having people rearrange my desk and things while I was out on maternity leave with my son, which was incredibly ignorant and rude! This happened when I worked at my ex father-in-law's company and my ex husband is the one that did the rearranging! Boy, I could really pick them back then . . .
Anyway, I wore a new outfit today that I ordered early in November and had never tried out before. I put on my black suede boots and silver earrings with it. Here is how it looked:
Mae in Black Cowl Neck Dress and Suede Boots
It was very comfy and warm and I got compliments on both the dress and boots, which was nice!
Of course there were a couple of annoying emails waiting for me, but that's to be expected when one is out of the office for 5 weeks! I'll clean that up sometime later this week.
I found out that they moved my phone and are in the process of moving my desk upstairs since I'm moving to another project. This is good news. I also found out that the SE Manager is a lady that I had a run-in with back in 2007 on a proposal effort. However, her and I have had no problems since I've returned to Texas in 2009 and she was very nice to me today when we talked. I'm looking forward to moving to this project! I need something new and challenging!
I also got the chance to have a nice long chat on the phone with my dear friend Tegs today, which is something I haven't been able to do for a while now. I really enjoyed that and want to do it more often!
I ended the day with a very nice Shrimp Salad for dinner. Here is what it looked like:
My time off is winding down quickly as I have to go back to work on Tuesday. I've been off of work for 5 weeks now due to surgery. This is the longest that I've been off of work since I was a teenager!
Going back to work after a Medical Leave of Absence, plus starting into a new year means that there is much work to be done to be prepared. I'm doing the laundry today, including all of the clothes from the cruise. I also just finished creating all of my files for 2013.
My 2013 Files, Ready to Go!
Now I have to finish all of the filing for 2012, which sucks! I'm going to try to be better about getting everything filed weekly this year. We just get so much garbage in the mail and I shred anything that has any personal information on it, so that's a lot of work! Fortunately I have a better shredder now and that should help a lot!
Earlier this week the lady that I have had cleaning my house on a monthly basis came to do the January cleaning. She does a really good job and I asked her how much she'd charge me if I got her to come in twice a month. She said that she'd do it for $75.00 a cleaning, which is so great! So I asked her to come twice a month now. That will be so helpful to me! I work full time and don't have the time to keep the house up to my extremely picky standards of cleanliness and neatness. This will make me feel much better!
I went back to the Gym today and did 30 minutes on the Elliptical. It felt so wonderful! The endorphins started kicking in about 5 minutes into the workout and stayed with me the whole time! The doctor who did my surgery wants me to wait 8 weeks to start back with lifting weights, but I'm going to ask one of the personal trainers at the Gym if there is a way around this by working with bands. He has a Masters Degree in Exercise Science, so I know that he'll be able to come up with something! I haven't put any weight on at all, either from the cruise or the holidays, so I'm going into 2013 feeling alright! I want to be as tight and toned as possible for a very special event coming up in March!
Adeline had her My Little Pony 5th Birthday Party today with the family at our house. Here is a picture of Adeline in her birthday dress and party hat:
Adeline in her party dress and hat
Here is a picture of her birthday banner:
Adeline's Birthday Banner
There's a story behind the birthday banner. Apparently while we were away on a cruise, some kids silly stringed our truck and dumped over the trash cans on the side of the house. I was very upset because I had special ordered the banner and knew that it had been delivered, but it wasn't at the house when we returned. I thought that the kids had taken it. When the held mail arrived on January 2nd, there was the banner in the mailbox! I was very happy that it had not been taken by the little hooligans that visited our house!
Here is Adeline posing with Pinky Pie, her Pinata:
Adeline and Pinky Pie the Pinata in the Garage
Here are some of her balloons:
Adeline's Balloons
There's also a story behind her balloons. I ordered them about a month ago from Party City with explicit instructions to have them inflated and ready at 11:00 AM today. I even called them this morning to request that they put each balloon bouquet into a large bag so that I didn't end up turning into Mary Poppins when I exited the store and they said they would take care of it. When I got to the store today, I asked the woman behind the counter where they were and she looked around and then told me that she saw somebody purchase the balloons earlier and leave the store with them. I have to admit that I lost my temper for a minute or two, but thankfully I didn't curse! Long story short, they ended up finding the balloon order and the woman who took the order wrote the wrong date on it. I don't know how she managed to do that as I personally told her 3 times that we needed the balloons on the 5th but she wrote the 15th. People don't listen very well sometimes.
The party started at 3:00 PM sharp and there was a photo opportunity with the Birthday Girl and everybody who attended! The first photo taken was with Abuelito:
Adeline and Abuelito
Next came Mimi (me):
Adeline and Mimi
Then Granny Tina arrived:
Adeline and Granny Tina
Then came Daddy and Miss Megan:
Adeline with Daddy and Miss Megan
And then Cousins Sophia and Alicia arrived:
Adeline with Cousins Sophia and Alicia
And next a nice picture with Cousin Sophia and Mommy:
Cousin Sophia, Adeline and Mommy
And then it was Grandma Karen's turn:
Cousin Sophia, Adeline and Grandma Karen
And then came Grandpa Jim:
Cousin Sophia, Adeline and Grandpa Jim
And finally, Aunt Mary and Cousin Alex:
Cousin Alex, Adeline and Aunt Mary
Then the girls posed for such a pretty picture:
The Three Cousins
After the photo sessions, dinner was served. There was Brisket, Broccoli mixed with gold Cauliflower, Macaroni and Cheese, Hot Dogs, and baked chicken. Everything was so delicious, especially the Brisket!
Dinner - Brisket, Broccoli and Cauliflower, Macaroni & Cheese, Hot Dogs, and Baked Chicken
Once everybody was finished eating, it was time to get after the Pinata. Here is a video of Adeline and Cousins Sophia and Alicia getting after Pinky Pie the Pinata:
That was so much fun!!! After the pinata, everybody wanted to have cake and sing Happy Birthday to Adeline. Here is a picture of her cake:
Adeline's Cake
Here is a video of everybody singing Happy Birthday and her blowing out her candle:
After the cake, she opened all of her presents:
Adeline and Cousin Sophia had so much fun playing with her Pony Castle:
Adeline and Cousin Sophia playing with the Pony Castle
Everyone had a wonderful time at the party! Here is a picture of Adeline relaxing with her Mommy after the party:
Adeline relaxing with Mommy
Then Adeline had a nice bath and then went to bed.
Adeline and Mommy right after he bath
After her bath, Adeline went to bed to have some sweet dreams about her party! Let's do it again for her 6th Birthday Party!
I'm glad that you found your way to my Blog! I like to write posts here about my travels, current events, and my feelings about the people and things that figure prominently in my life. I hope that you enjoy what I have to say here and please feel free to leave me your comments. I would enjoy hearing from you!
