If You Don't Want Advice, Don't Ask for it!

I remember a story that my dear mother told me regarding an incident that she had with one of her "friends".  This friend's name was "Pat", and just to set the story right, I'm going to briefly describe "Pat" to anybody who cares to read this post.  Pat went to our church and used Mass on Sunday as her weekly fashion show.  For some reason, my parents asked her to be my sister's Godmother.  Now I will say, Pat and her mother were very good to my sister and always brought her little presents.  However, Pat gossiped terribly about everybody, including my mother.  She criticized my mother's homemaking skills, saying that we "had such a lovely home, and that it was such a shame that Nora (my mother) didn't keep it nice and neat".  This was really something coming from Pat, who had no children and lived with her mother in an apartment!  I could go into a lot more detail about things that Pat did to my mother, but this post really isn't about that.

Anyway, Mom called me up one day and told me that Pat had recently come and asked for her advice.  Mom gave the matter some serious thought and then gave Pat her honest, but diplomatic advice.  Pat then proceeded to get really upset and left in a huff.  She then proceeded to tell the whole town, church, Tobyhanna Army Depot, and anybody else who would listen that Mom "was mean to her".  After telling me about this "incident", my mother advised me "to be very careful about giving advice to people, because they usually just want you to tell them something that they want to hear instead of the truth".

Well, it turned out that Mom gave me some very solid advice!  Not too long ago, I met a Facebook "friend" through one of my other friends.  This "friend" is quite young and extremely troubled.  He messaged me yesterday and asked for my advice regarding something that he wanted to do that was very dangerous and could get him either into terrible trouble or dead.  I talked to him for a while, providing honest but caring advice about how this was not the right path to take and that it was likely that his current situation didn't warrant him to go this way.  Well, true to Mom's prediction, he got really nasty to me because this is not what he wanted to hear.  He wanted for me to approve of his taking the proverbial  "Highway to Hell"!  He then said that he "was done with me" and proceeded to unfriend and block me on Facebook.  Yes siree, no good deed goes unpunished!

Now, this is what I have to say about this incident and to anybody who ever wants to ask me for advice:

If you don't want my advice, don't ask for it!

I am very honest and will not lie to my friends and tell them what they want to hear!  Anybody who is a true friend will give their friends the best, honest advice possible, especially when they are headed for trouble!

So, to my dear "ex" FB friend:  Honey, you are about to merge onto the "Highway to Hell"!  Please take the next exit before you ruin your life or get killed before you even have one!  And to top off this "advice" that you obviously don't want to hear, here's a little AC/DC to put some music to the story:

Oh, and by the way, I still care about you, even though you were really nasty to me for being honest.  I will pray that you'll eventually get some sense, get on the right track and find happiness!

In closing, I would like to say "Rest in Peace" to both my dear mother Nora West and her friend Pat.  

My Mother's Treasures

My dear mother Nora Reilly West never had a lot of material possessions, but she always treasured her family and friends!  For as long as I can remember, she had boxes secreted in her lingerie drawer which contained pieces of jewelry that were given to her throughout the years. I always got so excited when she would go into her boxes on occasion to show me her jewelry!  Sadly, she left us all and her worldly possessions behind when she died on August 24, 2008.  Here is my mother in her high school senior portrait:

Nora Reilly West - St. Mary's Academy Senior Portrait

My sister Katie left a message for me on Friday, April 20th to say that I would be receiving a box on Saturday at my house.  She wouldn't tell me what was in the box, but asked me to read the letter that she had included first before opening it.  True to her word, the box arrived on Saturday afternoon and I read her letter first before opening it.  The box had several boxes within it containing most of my mother's jewelry collection!  I couldn't believe it!

Mom's jewelry collection doesn't contain hugely expensive pieces.  She did have a 1 carat diamond engagement ring that she wanted to leave to me, but towards the end of her days, somebody at the hospital helped themselves to it.  It was a shame that it was stolen!  We shouldn't have let her keep it on her finger in a place like that, but none of us would have had the heart to ask her to take her engagement ring off!  It would have broken her heart!

Mom's collection contains several pieces that have a great deal of sentimental value.  I'm going to include pictures here for anybody who would like to see and hear about these pieces.

So, ladies and gentlemen, the first item from the Nora Reilly West Collection on display is a gold necklace and earring set that my father gave to Mom when she was a teenager.  Each item in the set is shaped to resemble what looks like a sunflower.  The necklace is engraved with the name "Noreen", which was a nickname that my father had for Mom back when she was young.  The earrings are of the clip-on variety and engraved with "N. R."  which was her initials. I never saw her wear this jewelry.

The "Noreen" Set

The 2rd item is a vintage bracelet with shield charms representing what was once the 9 provinces of Canada back in the early 1900s. From left to right, the shields represent British Columbia, Saskatchewan, Ontario, Quebec, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, Alberta and Newfoundland.  I don't know who gave Mom this bracelet and I never saw her wear it.

Canadian Shield Charm Bracelet

Number 3 on the docket is a bracelet that Mom's best friend Joanie McDonald gave to her on May 23rd, 1953.  It has Mom's initials engraved on the heart in the front and the date 5-23-1953 and JMW engraved on the back.  Mom never said what was so special about May 23, 1953 or the reason why Joanie gave her this bracelet. I am surmising that Joanie got married on this date and I believe that Mom was her Maid of Honor at her wedding.  Therefore, this bracelet could have been Joanie's "Bride's Gift" to Mom as her Maid of Honor.

Heart Bracelet from Joanie McDonald

The next item on display is an engraved medal that my father gave to Mom on December 8, 1958, which was their 2nd Wedding Anniversary.  The front of the medal is engraved with "To the Angel  I  Married - Nora M. West - for 2 Years of Happiness". 

2nd Wedding Anniversary Medal from Dad (Front)

The back of the medal is engraved with their 2nd Wedding Anniversary date of 12-8-58.  I have to be honest, I really get a kick out of this piece!  I've never heard of anyone giving their wife a medal for being married for 2 years!  December 8th is also the day after Pearl Harbor Day and Jim Morrison's (the dearly departed lead singer of the Doors) birthday which makes it even more amusing!  I'm sure that Mom was happy to get it though, although I never saw her wear it.

2nd Wedding Anniversary Medal from Dad (Back)

Item number 5 on display is an oval stone bracelet with blue, gold, red and green stones and filigreed silver around each stone.  There were earrings to match and they had blue stones, but I don't know what happened to them. Whenever Mom got dressed up to go somewhere (which wasn't very often), she often wore this necklace and earrings.

The Oval Stone Filigreed Bracelet

The next item is a silver pin shaped like a bunch of flowers with varying shades of purple gem stones in the flower buds.  The pin had clip-on earrings to match, but there is only one left in the collection. Mom loved lavender and wore this pin often.  I remember the first time that she wore it.  She had attended Weight Watchers and lost a good bit of weight, so she bought a new lavender dress and got her hair frosted and styled to attend a church event.  Well, there was this old lady named Mrs. C.D. O'Connell that went to our church and was friends with Mom.  Us kids used to call her "The Critical Eye" because she never missed seeing anything, despite the fact that she wore spectacles with lenses that resembled a coke bottle.  Anyway, Mrs. O'Connell took one look at Mom's freshly frosted hair and said "What have you done to your beautiful hair?"  Poor Mom felt so bad that she cried!  Shame on Mrs. C.D. O'Connell for ruining Mom's fashionable evening at church!

The Purple Gemstone Flower Pin

I was always captivated with this next piece, which is a pearl "pop-it" necklace.  Each pearl on the necklace is a "pop-it" which pops apart from all of the others.  All of the pearls snap together to make the necklace.  It's such a cool necklace, but it will need some type of resurfacing as it has turned yellow with age.  I've never seen anything quite like it anywhere and don't know where Mom got it.

The Pearl "Pop-it" Necklace

"Pop-It" Section

The next item is Mom's gemstone flamingo pin.  I gave this to her for Christmas in 1988.  I paid $75 for it at Macy's, which was a fortune back then!  I was so excited to see her open it, and when she did, her whole face fell.  I felt so bad that she was disappointed with her Christmas present!  However, not all was lost!  She ended up falling for the flamingo's colorful charm and wore it all of the time!

The Flamingo Pin

For me, this next piece has a lot of sentimental value.  It's a gold pin shaped like a bow with a circular portrait of my son Justin Lee in a sailor suit hanging from it..  This portrait was taken at J.C. Penney's at the Security Mall in Woodlawn, MD and was from the first set of pictures that I ever had taken of him.  The poor girl taking the pictures nearly stood on her head to make him smile!  She really earned her pay that day! 

The "Justin Lee" Pin

The next item is an oval necklace containing my graduation photo from Basic Training at Lackland Air Force Base, Texas.  The covering on it has turned an amber color with age and it makes my blonde hair look red!  It's not one of my most favorite pictures of myself, but it really meant a lot to Mom.  She was always so  proud of all of her childrens' accomplishments!

Mae's Basic Training Graduation Photo Necklace

This is Mom's Angel Stone, which is very similar to the one that I carry with me all of the time.  My daughter Nicole gave me my stone during one of the hardest times of my life and it helped me to get through it.  I imagined angels surrounding me to protect me from harm. Not too long ago, I gave one of these stones to somebody who I thought was very special.  I hope that it helps her to get through life's tough times as well.

Mom's Angel Stone

And last, but not least is the most interesting piece in the whole collection!  It is a hexagon shaped gold locket with intricately engraved designs. The front of the locket is engraved with the cursive initials "ER".

Front of Locket

The locket opens and there is a picture of  my maternal grandmother Minnie Harte Reilly inside.  The Maker's Mark, C & QA in a triangle, is engraved inside as well.  I have scoured the internet looking for it, but have been unable to find out anything on the Maker.

Open Locket with Minnie Harte Reilly's Picture

The back of the locket is engraved with a six sided star (hexagram) with 3 small jewels at each of the six points, 6 jewels in a circle around the center and a jewel in the middle.

Back of Locket

We're not sure who gave this locket to my mother, but believe that it was a family member on her mother's side of the family.  I believe that the R in the initials "ER" stands for Reilly, but I'm not sure.  We don't know much about my maternal grandmother as she died when Mom was only 2 years old.  I'm hoping that maybe this locket will end up clearing up some of this mystery.

So for those of you who cared to read this post and look at the pictures of Mom's treasures, thank you very much for your interest and I hope that you enjoyed the post!

Running on Empty

I can't even count on one hand throughout my entire life ever saying this, but I will say right now that I am running on empty and it is a very bad feeling!  However, one thing that has not waned is my impatience with myself.  I realize that I was quite ill in the hospital, but cannot get over how long it is taking me to get my energy back!  I am seriously like my own Military Training Instruction (MTI) and cannot stand sitting around on my bum!

I work with a personal trainer on Tuesday and Thursday of every week.  My trainer is very nice but is a Master Trainer at 24 Hour Fitness and is extremely hard core about fitness.  Well, I got out of the hospital in the afternoon on Thursday, April 12th and went back to work on Monday, April 16th.  I figured on Tuesday, April 17th that I needed to get my dead bum to my Tuesday training session.  When I arrived at the gym, my trainer took one look at me and told me to go home!  He's so hard core I was shocked that he told me this!  He did tell me that Tuesday was too soon to do training after being hospitalized with a kidney problem.  I'm glad to say that I did go for my Thursday afternoon session and did pretty well and I worked out both days this weekend.

Even so, I still feel like I've been drained of all of my blood!  I really hope that my energy returns to its normal levels soon!  I keep thinking about a song that describes the way I feel and here it is:

Jackson Brown's "Running on Empty" from 1977 describes my current energy dilemma!

I still don't have my appetite back completely, which I don't mind as I've lost a few pounds and am able to get into my "skinny jeans".  We have a really great meal after working out every Sunday which we call "Desayuno", which means "Breakfast" in Spanish.  The meal consists of huevos (eggs), frijoles negros (black beans), plantanos (plantains), queso fresco (fresh cheese) and crema (sour cream) to go with the plantains.  I was able to eat my Desayuno today and it tasted great!  Here is what "Desayuno" looked like today:

"Desayuno"

I hope for an energy infusion this week!  I have been working on a post here on the Caribbean Cruise that we just took in March but I just haven't had the energy to complete it!  I will complete it this week though, for anybody who would care to read it and look at the pictures.

Until tomorrow, and hoping for more energy . . .

An Easter Week from Hell

We always do up Easter big-time with baskets and Easter Egg hunts for the kids, decorations, egg dying, and a big dinner.  Those were the plans for this year as well, but it didn't quite turn out that way as Mother Nature had different plans.  I did manage to get Adeline's Easter Basket done, and she and her mother dyed the Easter Eggs, which she really enjoyed.  Here is a picture of her Easter Basket for this year:

Adeline's Easter Basket - 2012

Unfortunately, the decorations, Easter Egg Hunt, dinner and everything else didn't happen because I became the sickest that I have ever been in my entire life.

On Thursday, April 6th I left work a few hours early because I didn't feel quite right.  I got up the next day and did a few errands to get some last minute things for Easter and then woke up that night shivering violently since I was so cold.  Then I got hot sweats.  My body kept alternating between chills and sweats and I started getting really nauseated.  Then I started getting pain in my lower right back and side. All I could do was lay in bed.  I couldn't eat, drink much or really move around it just hurt so bad.  I had fevers reaching 102.8 degrees.

This kept up until Monday and I went to my PCP Dr Amy Miller, who was kind enough to fit me in.  She ordered abdominal and trans-vaginal Ultra Sound tests and blood work.  She prescribed anti-nausea and pain killer medications for me, neither of which worked well at all.  I asked when the results of the tests would be in and her Staff told me on Wednesday.  I went home and back to bed and things got even worse on Tuesday evening.  Finally, the hubs came and stood next to the bed and told me to please get dressed because he was taking me to the Emergency Room.  I kept trying to put him off, but he would not let up, so I got dressed and off we went. 

The Staff at the Methodist Regional Hospital Emergency Room were really great!  They got me into a bed and comfortable really quickly, which I really appreciated since I had been in so much pain since Friday.  They ended up finding the Ultrasound test results and did some blood work and diagnosed that I had a severe kidney infection.  The infection was so bad that they sent me to stay for a few nights at the Methodist Richardson Hospital so that they could get things under control.

So I got packed up into an ambulance for the ride to the hospital, which is about 10 miles away.  I got strapped into the gurney like a NASCAR driver and they had me hooked up to all these machines.  They warned me it would be a rough ride and it was a little bumpy.

They got me there and wheeled me up to Room 504B.  I had a roommate since there wasn't an empty bed in the hospital.  My two nights there were filled with pain, morphine shots, blood thinners, antibiotics, anti-nausea medication plus much more. I couldn't sleep because there were two lunatic patients that keep yelling all day and all night at the top of their lungs. The hospital probably had to put them on the 5th Floor because there were no beds anywhere else.  One was an older female who cussed out the nurses day in and day out. The other was some guy screaming for "Stonewall".  Maybe he thought that he was at a Civil War reenactment.  I feel sorry for these folks because they were probably delusional due to medication and other unknown disorders, but they really kept me from sleeping.

Here's a picture of my IV drip the first night at the hospital:

The next night, the nurse gave me Morphine and sleeping medications and closed the door, which helped to cut out some of the screaming noise.  I thought it was great that I was going to get some sleep, but it was not to be. They wheeled in a young lady with Sickle Cell Anemia around 2:00 AM and she screamed all night in pain. I never realized how bad Sickle Cell Anemia can get and I felt very sorry for her. What I didn't understand is why one of the nurses couldn't call her doctor and up her pain medication dosage.  That was really unfair to her and to me.

There was a huge shortage of nurses at the hospital.  My nurse gave me some medications in my IV on Wednesday and it really hurt my hand.  The nurse didn't return for hours and finally I pulled my hand out to look at it and it resembled a rubber glove blown up.  I called the nurse and she had a more senior nurse come in to put the IV in my other hand.  The nurse was unable to do it after two tries of sticking needles into my hand.  Finally, she just left and was gone for about 1-1/2 hours and then the guy in charge of Nursing Instruction came in and got the IV into my other hand.  Then he left and nobody put my IV back on so I had no medications or fluids for hours. Fortunately, I was discharged on Thursday, April 12th later on in the day.

They sent an antibiotic and pain, anti-nausea and sleeping medications home with me.  I didn't sleep well last night because I kept wheezing and didn't feel like I was getting enough breath.  I went to my PCP today and she gave me an inhaler for the wheezing.  I hope that it works and that I can get enough rest tonight.

I 've never been this sick in my whole life!  As my condition improves, it makes me so thankful for my usual healthy condition.  To anybody bothering to read this, please take care of your health!  You never miss it until you lose it!

Confessions of a Former Tanorexic

I have always been a sun worshiper.  When I was a teenager back in PA, I wanted so badly to rub myself down with baby oil and iodine and bask in the sun all day long up on the roof!  Fortunately, my mother wouldn't let me do it.  I really hated her for it, but now I know that she was right and I thank her for it.  When I left home at 18, I was too busy working and going to school to lay out in the sun.  However, that all changed once tanning beds hit the scene.  After tanning beds arrived, all one had to do to become a golden beach babe was lay down and sleep in a tanning bed for a 1/2 hour session several times a week!  I just loved it and I had a golden tan year round for over a decade. 

This went on until 2003, but came to a screeching halt once my mother was diagnosed with Melanoma.  A mole on her back turned cancerous and she had to have surgery to remove the mole plus several inches of skin and muscle around it.  She was checked for recurrence every six months up until she died of heart failure in 2008. 

I've been attending my yearly doctor visits during the last few months and visited my Dermatologist last Wednesday to get a full body skin check.  My Dermatologist is Dr. Betty Park on Forest Lane in Dallas.  She is so nice and very thorough!  She checked my scalp and whole body, even between my toes.  She ended up taking biopsies of a red patch on my chest and a mole on my right calf.  She also said that I had some Actinic Keratosis (AK) spots on my forehead and temples.  AKs are small, rough spots occurring on skin that has been chronically exposed to the sun. Since AKs can develop into skin cancer, Dr. Park gave me a prescription for Zyclara creme, which is an immune response modifier.  I will have to apply it once per day to the affected areas for two weeks, then take a two week rest, then apply it again for another two weeks.  Hopefully the spots will go away.

The biopsy results came back the next day and the calf result was benign, but the chest result was Basal Cell Carcinoma.  Dr. Park told me that this type of skin cancer has a 100% cure rate, thank God!  So I'll have to apply the Zyclara creme to the affected area on my chest 5 days a week for 6 weeks.  Dr. Park wants to shrink the spot as much as possible.  If there is anything left after using the creme, it will have to be surgically removed.  Here's what Basal Cell Carcinoma looks like:

Basal Cell Carcinoma

I've read that everyone is at risk for developing skin cancer. However, certain characteristics make people more at risk for developing it:

• people with freckles
  
• those with fair skin tones
  
• those who burn easily
  
• people with light colored eyes, such as green and blue eyes
  
• people with naturally red or blonde hair
  
• people who spend a lot of time outdoors
  
• people who have a personal or family history of skin cancer or melanoma

I have 6 out of the 7 characteristics, so I have a high risk factor. 

For anybody who might be reading this post, please be very careful with sun exposure and don't use tanning beds, especially if you have some or all of the characteristics above!  Please also check yourself or have a loved one check you regularly for any of the following symptoms:

Symptoms of Skin Cancer

• A small lump (spot or mole) that is shiny, waxy, pale in color, and smooth in texture.
  
• A red lump (spot or mole) that is firm
  
• A sore or spot that bleeds or become crusty. Also look for sores that don't heal.
  
• Rough and scaly patches on the skin.
  
• Flat scaly areas of the skin that are red or brown.
  
• Any new growth that is suspicious

On to a separate subject, I had what I think was an amazing experience today in the supermarket after work.  I stopped by to buy some of Adeline's favorite cheese crackers. When I got up to the register, the cashier told me that they only take cash and debit cards.  Since I had neither, I started to leave without the crackers when the lady in line behind me reached forward and scanned her debit card to pay for them!  I couldn't believe it!  There are some really nice people out there!  We all should practice random acts of kindness on a regular basis!

6/30/2012 Update 


I completed my treatment regimen and went to a follow-up visit to Dr. Park's office this past week.  She was very pleased with my progress!  The AKs on my face are gone and the Basal Cell Carcinoma on my chest has diminished greatly.  Dr. Park wants me to use the Zyclara on my chest again for 5 days a week for 6 weeks so that the spot will clear completely.  I also have a what I thought were red spots on my cheeks, which Dr. Park said is mild acne which is caused by the bio-identical testosterone that I take daily.  She prescribed some antibiotics and some cream that I will need to take for a month to clear it up.  She also prescribed some Vaniqa creme for me to help reduce the peach fuzz I have on my face, which is also a result of the testosterone.

What Constitutes a "Friend" on Facebook?

I have gained a good number of friends since I joined Facebook last year.  These friends consist of relatives; classmates from Elementary and High School; people I knew when growing up in PA; friends at work; and people I have met on Facebook.

I was on vacation last week on a cruise and wasn't able to get online due to a lack of connectivity.  This break from the internet gave me time to give some serious thought to what constitutes a Facebook "friend".  The biggest thing that kept coming to mind is that there needs to be two-way correspondence. I also need for my friends to be courteous and considerate. There are some friends that I currently have on Facebook who have made it very apparent that they are seriously self-centered, some to the point of narcissism.  I find this disturbing and hope that these people can eventually learn the joy of caring about others.

Others like to collect  friends and seem to get great satisfaction in having thousands of them, but this is not me. I believe in quality over quantity. 

I had a birthday yesterday, and after contemplating what constitutes a "friend" on Facebook, I saw this as an opportunity to see which friends stepped up to the plate in the "consideration" category.  I grew up in a home where somebody's birthday was a very special day and it was treated accordingly.  I have carried this tradition forward into my adult life and enjoy having birthday parties for my family and observing my friends' birthdays.

It turned out that around 40% of my friends wished me a Happy Birthday, which I think is pretty good!  There were a few who said some truly sweet things and it really made me feel great!  I thank these friends very much for their sweetness and consideration!  They truly made my day!

I was somewhat disappointed that a few friends, particularly one who I hold in very high esteem, were not in the 40% mentioned above.  To be fair, sometimes folks get extremely busy at work and with personal affairs and cannot be on Facebook often enough to attend to their "friends" there.  This is very understandable.  However, there are others who seem to be online all of the time but don't seem to think that things like friend's birthdays, anniversaries, or two-way correspondence is important. This is fine for them but not for me.

So, after even more contemplation and bearing in mind that it is now Springtime, I have come to a conclusion:  I am going to do some Spring cleaning on my Facebook account.  All of my relatives will stay, even if they don't correspond with me very often.  Everybody who was considerate enough to wish me a Happy Birthday yesterday will remain my friend.  However, "friends" who have never attempted to correspond with me will not remain. A connection is pointless if there is no give and take. 

Disconnections from some "friends" will be effortless as they have not shown any interest at all in getting to know me.  However, there are others that I will have ponder very carefully.  I have fallen into the trap in the past of truly caring about people who don't care about me, so I will have to think very hard about who these "friends" are and then I will let them go.  These disconnections will be hard for me to do, but necessary to move on in my life.

For anybody who cares to read this and I end up choosing to end our Facebook connection, if you are truly interested in connecting with me again, please message me and I will be happy to make it happen.

In my honest opinion, all relationships require some work and need to include consideration, courtesy and correspondence, even on Facebook!  There are a good number of you out there who fit this bill and I'm very glad that you are my friends!  For those who don't fit the bill, please try harder at being a friend and you will be greatly rewarded!

Rotonda West on Dwellable

My Body

I just recently had my yearly physical and my doctor had me take a bone density test.  I always request to see all results of any tests that I have done at the doctor's office, so they mailed me the results of the blood work and bone density test.  I was a bit dismayed when I read the results!   Apparently may "T" Score was -1.0, with the lowest measurement in the neck of my left femur.  This means that my bone mass is 10% below normal.  To top it all off, I'm Vitamin D deficient.  So now I have to take one 50,000 IU capsule once a week for 6 months.  I already work out 4-5 times week and have asked my personal trainer to add some exercises into my sessions that will help to strengthen my hip.  Here is the image from the test:

Bone Density Scan Image

I am a firm believer in preventative healthcare and want to do whatever I can to build some bone back up in my hip.  I don't want to be breaking it when I get old!

Some other things going on in my life right now: We went to court last Friday and finally were granted Managing Conservatorship of Adeline, which has been a long time in coming!  Also, Alex and Danni moved in with us because they had nowhere else to go.  I am hoping that Alex and Adeline will grow closer now that he and Danni are living here with us.

I have to start packing today as we're leaving on Friday to go on a Caribbean cruise.  I'm really looking forward to it!  I will post pictures of it here in my blog.  Well, off to pack!  Until tomorrow . . .